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Ok so, last night I read through the entire Mockingjay book.
Thankfully when times are tough, there is still a library.
Here are my thoughts on the series. I think it's well written, the descriptions are pretty decent. I don't think it should be aimed towards younger crowds, but if it's for teens it would make sense. I found the books to be really emotional and moving.
Now this is the second "mainstream" series I've read recently. I still thing Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is better. That entire series is amazing.
Either way, I'll check out the movie for the Hunger Games. Makes sense.
I rarely, if ever, talk about politics in my journal.
Normally it's because I'm of the belief that my opinions are mine, and yours are yours. Plain and simple right?
Well today I mentioned our current situation to a friend when they asked me why we were selling a couple of our games. No big deal right?
Well then there was some assfuck that had to pipe up that I deserved it for leeching off the government and doing nothing to help myself. I also got called liberal scum.
Doing nothing to help myself? I'm a full time student with a GPA of 3.7. My boyfriend works full time (40 hours a week) and manages to drive 30 minutes each way to get to his job. Why? Because any job is better than no job at all.
I'm confused as to why political status/preference has to come into play when there is an obvious need. I could understand being a bit pissed off that people that have no jobs, don't try to get a job, just sit back and leech the government. It's wrong, no matter what your stance on politics is. But both me and my boyfriend make a substantial attempt at making bills and affording food each month. So fuck you.
Also, if you have such a tizzy about what the liberals are doing, go bitch to your local Representative. They are there to represent you. Don't bitch if you aren't actually being active and doing something.
Ugh. Money is going to be super tight this coming 2 weeks.
I'm talking..ramen for dinner tight.
Having to pay for those meds out of pocket is biting us in the ass right now. That amount was our phone bill. Now we have to do the phone bill and rent out of a check that has a day missing of work.
Plus food. Because ya know, my social worker thinks we make more than enough money.
We have 150 dollars left to buy food for two weeks AND gas. He drives a total of 60 miles a day.
That is my world too Abs. Myth has a 120 mile round trip to work. Lucky for us his work lets him live in a storage closet otherwise we would be screwed. Any moral support, recipes or anything else to alleviate the stress(even a joke), say the word.
20:25 Mar 29 2012 Times Read: 632
So in the forecast in the past, there has been talk of "frozen rain"
I always thought it was just a fancy way of saying snow.
I learned today that frozen rain is NOT snow. (Mind you, it was in the 60s last week)
It started to snow during my last class, and then changed to frozen rain.
I'm in flipflops.
Let's just say it was a cold run from the building to the bus.
This week has kicked my ass already. It's only Wednesday.
I was at the college yesterday for a grand total of 12 hours. I was awake during all 12 of them, despite only getting 5 hours of sleep the night before.
Today is a day of rest until my class tonight. Tomorrow should be a typical Thursday. Choir and then English. Friday I think we have extra rehearsal. I may or may not show up, depending on what happened yesterday.
Few notes about yesterday in general.
I turned in my 10 page paper and got 15 out of 10. How did I manage that?
One of the topics was to write about your favorite season. The problem is that I'm not exactly used to more than one season (Florida and all). So I wrote about hurricane season. I got extra credit points for thinking outside of the box.
In Choir, there has been this huge problem with peer pressure.
There is a tenor solo for one song we are singing, it's a very high tenor part in general. All the other tenors have tried it and it has not ended well. One of them, my buddy, did the "best" considering. He sat down and looked at me. I haven't tried for the solo because I figured someone else could have a chance.
I had every single person in that section telling me to try out, even some basses. Why? Because it's right smack dab in between my range. Right where I'm comfortable singing.
Assholes. I'll be trying it tomorrow.
The damn solo isn't even in English. I hate solos in another language. If I'm going to slaughter a language, I want to do it with a group. That was the reason I didn't want to do it. >.>
I'll let you guys know how it goes.
*edit*
Here is the song we are doing, this isn't our group obviously. The solo is the call part the guy is doing.
Stealing a photograph off the internet and then digitally painting over it takes about as much talent as it took for the Black Eyed Peas to add lyrics to Miserlou.
Back to listening to Blue October on repeat over and over.
I'm not depressed, I just like the calming feeling the music gives me.
I have this bottle with sand and shells in it that we got at Cocoa Beach over Christmas. It's my beach in a bottle. I'm sitting here staring at it and wishing I was back home. Not a sad feeling, just a calming feeling.
Today we had our personal conferences with the English teacher. He handed back our test and papers. He read over the papers in front of us, giving us suggestions, and allowing rewrites to people that botched their first paper up.
Me? I got a great compliment.
"Your writing is in a league of it's own in this class. You are the only person that will not have to rewrite the first paper. You also have a very elegant way with words and descriptions."
I have got to say, this site has helped.
It's been 5 years since I graduated from high school. In that time, I've been keeping my writing up, even if just a little bit, by this journal.
So I guess this is a thank you. Writing here has kept me in shape for writing elsewhere.
I couldn't get to sleep to start off with because I was having coughing fits. So I attempted to wear the mask. That didn't work out so well with the coughing. Then I was freezing. So more blankets and the fan off.
About a hour later I'm sweating and the blankets are all over the place. I didn't have the sense to get up and turn the fan on again. So I slept with no blanket and was sweating my toosh off. I also was having funky dreams about food. Not eating it, cooking it. I ended up waking up with the first alarm and now I'm feeling pooped. Might attempt to get another half hour of sleep before getting ready for class.
When the man is sick, he needs to stay away from me D:
Yesterday we went to the urgent care for him. He has bronchitis. They gave him a prescription for some meds (Which ended up costing us 50 bucks because his insurance sucks) and he started taking them.
That's all fine and dandy.
Today I woke up having issues breathing and this weird tightness in my chest. I'm also more sleepy than normal.
I think I'm going to tough it out until Friday. I have my physical then so no point in two appointments in a week.
Been a while since I brought up something I'm grateful for, but here it goes.
I'm grateful to have people that care about me. Even though we aren't super best friends, it's nice that you noticed and mentioned that I seemed off.
There is this 17 year old kid in choir with me. I sit next to him, he's bloody brilliant on the piano, and he's just a sweet kid overall. Very mature and fun to talk to.
Today, he realized something wasn't right (I've been slightly depressed) and he asked if I was ok. He didn't do it in a sense that he was thinking I'm crazy. It was very sincere and he didn't make a big deal about it.
He also told me to take it easy (even after I said I was fine!) and took some of the weight on the part so I could back down.
I'm grateful that I was noticed and he didn't take my bullshit. Made me feel like someone cared.
It's nice to see a teenager out there that is smart, mature, and caring. He's going to go very far as a person.
It does, and the action is COMPLETELY different than a piano - but when you get used to it? So very nifty!
00:34 Mar 12 2012 Times Read: 767
I love performing, I really really do.
The problem is that after a performance, I always seem to crash. It's like all the adrenaline of being up on stage finally drains out and I need to sleep.
I didn't count that crash into my plans for today...
I was going to go do the concert, eat a bit after, come home and work on my homework and other stuff I need to do.
I. am. pooped.
I cranked out my paper since it was just a short story, but I'm pretty sure it's going to miss the mark when it comes to "descriptive". I also barely hit the word count requirement. Meh.
Now, to get the research done for my presentation this week and the image I need to make.
Wanted to write this for a while. I need a bit of feedback.
I don't know if my mother is being overprotective or just selfish in this situation.
My real father has been pretty much MIA for the last 22 years of my life. We've been slowly working on talking and all that fun stuff, but he has yet to actually cause any harm to me. In fact, he gave me about 300 dollars for books last semester.
He's been in the Navy for 20 years. He recently retired and has been looking for a job. Until now, he's "lived" in Connecticut. He found a job in Florida. How did I find this out? My mother.
She calls me up bitching about something my father did. I had to ask her a million times what he did.
"He got a job and is moving to Florida. He needs to stay away from Florida and away from Minnesota. There are 48 other states he can find a job in."
Now, I used to live in Florida. My parents still do. Another person that lives down there is my grandmother. Who just so happens to be my fathers mother.
Am I upset that my father will be moving to Florida? About 30 minutes from where I used to live? Not really. I think it's good that he has a job and will be close to his mother.
My mother thinks that it's the devils second coming. He has expressed that he doesn't ever want contact with my mother, and my mother has said the same thing. (Yet they are friends on facebook o.O)
For your own sake tell her that you are not jumping into judgements against your father. That is her beef not yours.
My mother has been done with my father for over 20 years and she still hates him. He has tremors and she makes fun of his typing on the kids facebook status's. My brother moved my father into my mom's neighborhood for his own convenience(my brother takes care of my dad)and she freaked. Dad can hardly get around his own house, he isn't going to show up at her house and he certainly isn't a danger to her.
This is about her need for attention and control over the situation and control over you.
Don't let her have it, put your foot down with her.
I wanted to put a little update about the CPAP machine and how it's not working out so well for me.
The doctor said that we are going to try a nose thing where it is just up my nose, and not over it. Considering I have massive sinus problems that will be fun.
The other option?
"I will probably have to prescribe you a strong sleep aid so that you can fall asleep with it on and get used to it."
Fuck. no.
I normally don't have issues falling asleep on my own. There are times when I'm manic, or have a lot on my mind and it makes it harder, but nothing my little low does Ativan won't help. Typically though, I don't have problems.
The other reason I'm against this. I've been on nasty sleep meds in the past. I would be so knocked out that I wouldn't know to get up to go to the bathroom. I also would be feeling hungover for hours after waking up.
Why did I eventually allow my doctor to prescribe me the Ativan?
I was having major issues with panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I was given the initial prescription back in August. It had 3 refills. I've refilled it once since then. At this point, the last refill has actually expired. I believe I still have over half the bottle left. What does this mean? It means that I don't take them often. We also picked this medication because it only lasts for 6 hours. More than enough time to sleep it off and wake up just fine.
This is just a bunch of rambling. The final verdict is I'm going to try the silly nose thingy and see if it works. If it doesn't, I'm sending the damn machine back.
I sleep just fine. I'm just tired all fucking day long.
Do you have a 'ramp up' setting on your machine? It will start the pressure off small and gradually build to where it is supposed to be. Also another trick is use Vaseline on the inside of your nose at first... it can dry it out until you are used to it.
Also something can happen called 'wash out'. Its where condensation will build up in the tube and if you move just right you'll face a face full of water. Make sure your machine is lower than your bed and see if you can get a insulator for your hose if you haven't already.
I used to think I slept fine too. That was until I got used to the machine and realized I didn't. It will take some time because it is so new, but if you just let yourself get used to it, you'll notice a big difference.
I have one of those fancy ones that have the auto pressure and a humidifier. The problem is that I feel like I'm being smothered or suffocated with the mask on. It brings back memories of the amazing crap my ex did to me and I start to have a panic attack.
It's not a case of it not working, it's a case of I have a panic attack because of how it fits on my face.
Stay far away from ambien. That shit made me crazy. =/
02:56 Mar 02 2012 Times Read: 842
I'm not a movie person, that is something a lot of people here know.
I don't do much TV either. I like books though.
The last set of books I read were the ones by Stieg Larsson. (Girl with Dragon Tattoo)
I have to say, the movie was great. I also tend to avoid a lot of movies made from books because the movies tend to gloss over, or skip, the good parts.
They did a great job with this one. The only things left out, were things that really were non-essential in the book as well. There was a small change to a part of the book, but it made sense and still had the same outcome. Overall, I enjoyed it. Something that is rare for me.
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